Emma

 It's a day I won't ever forget...August 6th, 2020. My daughter Emma Rae was born right around 2:09pm and like I said I'll never forget it. This time around it was so much different. This for those who don't know, is my second child, my first was our son Parker and we were to be surprised at his birth as we didn't know the gender, but this time around we found out that we were having a girl. 

In this messed up world we live in, I didn't think I could find so much joy but let me tell you I have. When she was born, I was completely and utterly overcome with emotion and I cried, and I cried hard. Tears of joy, relief and just a sigh of relief that this was all over and that our baby girl had entered this world. I've been seeing the term 'Girl Dad' trending for a while now and I thought it was kind of silly but becoming a father to this sweet and perfect little girl has changed me in ways that my son didn't and I didn't think were possible. 

The emotion that I was overcome with was literally out of no where. Seeing her face, hearing her cry & holding her for the first time, man it almost still gets me right now as I type this. Being pregnant during this Covid era in our lives was scary enough, and if I don't say it enough, to my wife, the way you handled yourself during this pregnancy, I will always be eternally grateful and I love you more then you could ever know. You are beyond brave, strong & an amazing mother of 2! 

As I type this now, my sweet pea, that's the nickname I've adapted for her, lies on my stomach after taking down a bottle and as I listen to her little snores/heavy breathing, the craziness I put myself through & my wife was so worth it. Becoming a girl dad has been an absolute blessing and I couldn't have asked for anything more. Already, there isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep my baby girl safe. She is my world and I her protector. 

The day of her birth was pretty standard/typical and I have to give a huge glowing shoutout to the nurse team we had at the hospital as they were terrific. They made sure everything went smoothly as it could and always kept my wife and babies safety at the forefront. Words still can't express the emotion and love I have for her...from her little looks she shoots me, to the way her head turns as I talk to her & how she gives me those post bottle smirks it's a feeling of joy that I honestly haven't felt in a long time. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my son more then anything as well, but with the negativity presented in this world on a day to day basis, this was the beacon of hope & joy that I desperately needed. Watching my son become a big brother and meeting her for the first time was another joy that I won't soon forget and he has taken to becoming a big brother, at least most of the time....he does have his moments still. 

I've been gone from the blog for a while but as my sleep has returned a little bit, so has my desire to start writing again and not wanting to go to sleep by like 9pm. I hope you guys are all staying safe & I hope to hear from you all soon.

1243 Days

That's a number I'll admit I had to look up tonight. I've been doing a lot of dwelling lately. Dwelling on the past, the present & the future. 1243 days ago my life changed forever. That was the day my son was born. I've had him now for 1243 days. 

During that time I've learned a lot, experienced a lot & def have grown a lot! He has taught me unconditional love, patience, kindness, sweetness & so much more. These 1243 days with him have been the greatest of my life thus far and in just a few short days he's going to become a big brother and me a father again this time to my daughter. There have been days that have been challenging to say the least, I'm sure all parents will attest to that, but then there are days like today, where faith is restored and it's all worth it. I have been gone a lot cause of work lately and have been off the last few days and I love it when he's super clingy to me and wants to play with Dada. 

We built forts, went on walks and played in the backyard this weekend, he even got to push daddy's lawn mower today for a few laps up and down the backyard and as I pushed that with him and he looked back and looked up at me, I realized I am truly blessed and fortunate. Fortunate for a healthy & loving son who sure may tests us more now then ever before, but I keep telling myself there is light at the end of these struggles. I know that one day soon, he'll start to try new foods, use the toilet for number 2 more constantly, it'll all work itself out. I have learned so much these past 3 plus years and I know there's more to come with not just him, but then a baby girl on the horizon as well. 

What will life be like? What's going to change? Is everything going to change? How is he going to be? Will he be jealous, loving, caring? It's these things and so much more that excite me about becoming a father again and this time it's more special as we will get to share this experience with him and watch him and his little sister interact and grow up together. The moment I keep thinking about is the moment when he will first meet her. Sure, he's heard us talking about baby sister in mommy's tummy for months now, but to truly see it will be something completely different. 

We are no longer just going to be a family of 3, we're expanding and I for one welcome it. The joy of this is subdued a little bit w/ this pandemic sure, but it's not going to keep our excitement down I'll tell ya that. In a world that's full of hate, disgusting groups of people and morons who refuse to wake up during such times, this is the bright spot I know I've been searching for and praying for. I have protected my son from the dangers of this world for 1243 days and while his count will continue, a new one, one for my daughter is set to begin any day now. 

I will be taking some time off for the next week or two but I promise to return to the blog and write about even more new experiences. Until then, stay safe & see everyone soon. 

Tim