Forgive the title of this blog as it's a quote from Lord of the Rings. I've been rewatching some of my favorite movies late at night again like I did when I was in college and I just finished Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, and boy does that take me back. I'm not going to get a lot of free time in the coming weeks/months with baby girl now less then 5 weeks away from making her debut into this world.
It's been a week since my last posting and I find it harder and harder to wanna write about anything right now, because when I should be feeling happy and excited, (don't get me wrong I am at times) I find myself full of hate and distaste as of late with people. I'm not going to rehash where I stand on certain things, cause if you've been reading this blog and if you work with me, you know how I feel about the current state of our political climate. I get angry inside when I see people walking around without a mask on especially when out a public place. The selfishness & general lack of concern for others well being and safety has been treated as an after thought at a time in our countries history when it should be at the forefront.
See here I go again, and I didn't want to write about this but it's hard for me cause I have a ton of feelings I want to get out and considering this is my forum to do it I will. I get so angry when I see Pritzker sucks signs in peoples yard. I've literally almost stopped the car on the side of the road to rip them out. I hate seeing so much negativity on social media towards a group of individuals that it's worn off on me I feel like and I'm like huh, how did this happen. 2020 has been let's face it, a fucked up year and it shows no signs of getting better.
Just look at Florida, Texas, California, all getting worse by the day and reporting new cases upwards of 10k a day!!!! Yet people want to criticize our leader (I'm not talking Trump, just so we're clear) and the fact that our state is following logic and science! Like wake up and smell the fucking roses people. Guess what: concerts will return, indoor seating in restaurants will eventually get back to normal but face facts- that's not happening right now so we should be doing everything and anything we can to get back to that point. The sad fact is, we won't for a long time because of things I mentioned earlier- people's selfishness and unwillingness to adapt to change.
It terrifies me to my core to welcome this baby girl into the world...there I said it. I've been called a few things during this time, some I know were meant to be harmless but some I think were said with a little bit of malicious intent. Guess what- I don't care, it doesn't phase me in the slightest. I've done the things I needed to do during this crazy time to keep my family & I safe. Do I miss seeing my family and friends, you bet, but I've learned to adapt. Do I enjoy washing my hands a 1000 times a day when at work and the cracks on multiple fingers as a result, HELL NO, but I do it anyways. Do I enjoy applying hand sanitizer and the pain that ensues on my dry hands, HELL NO but I've learned to adapt.
People I know have asked me, what's going to happen when your baby is born. I have jokingly said, you think I'm nuts now just wait til she's here...but the more I think about it, I'm not joking. With every expert saying it's only going to get worse before it gets better, I'm reconditioning my mind that we will not be seeing family and friends for a very long time. And you know what, I'm at peace with that because at the end of the day all that matters is the health and safety of my kids, wife and me. Get togethers will happen again, parties will happen again & life will eventually get back to normal. I'm tired of keeping all this in. I don't like what I've become at times, but I do it to keep what's most important to me safe and healthy.
You may call me names, but guess what, I'll call ya one right back. Don't judge me as I try not to judge others unless of course they don't wanna wear a mask and practice social distancing! :)
Anyways, I needed to vent tonight. For those who read this blog thank you. It's meant a lot to me to have something again in my life to use as an escape and to put my college degree back to use. I promise there will be happier blogs ahead. We're all faced with difficult challenges day in and day out and for those who are hurting or need someone to talk to, I'll listen. Put your feelings to paper, or hell start a blog. Everyone needs that emotional release at a time when our country is literally up for grabs.
Stay safe and stay healthy my friends.
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